Moms Talk: Setting Facebook Ground Rules

When my son was almost 13, he wanted to join Facebook. Before allowing it, I signed up myself in order to understand how it worked and to provide some guidance related to his use of the social network phenomenon.

Once I gained a basic understanding, I allowed him to sign up for Facebook subject to some basic guidelines which have evolved over the past two years into the following:

1. I must be your Facebook “friend” and you cannot block me.
2. I must know your password.
3. You must have the maximum privacy settings that "only friends" can read your information, or see your photos and wall. Your privacy settings must be checked frequently.
4. You may not include our home address or any phone numbers on your
   Information page.
5. You may not "friend" anyone you don't know personally (in the real world) and must be able to tell me how you know that person.
6. Profanity is prohibited. If you use it and I see it, it will be removed immediately.
7. Remember that your grandparents are among your Facebook friends so don’t
   write anything you wouldn’t want them to see and delete any offensive language by friends on your wall.
8. Since I’m the parent, I’ll update the rules as needed.

These limits have worked well for us. I imagine some kids might not need rules while others might need more rigid ones.

As parents, we cannot make that decision, however, without first having a basic understanding of the technology, which is evolving almost faster than we can keep up with it. I suspect that by the time they’re in high school, today’s sixth graders will be using some new must-have technology that hasn’t been invented yet.

After about two years, when I thought I’d mastered this particular parenting challenge, my darling teen hit me with, "I'll bet you don't even know how to tweet, do you, mom?'"